The two biggest creations in my life – my blog and my baby came after a series of coaching sessions. Yes, a real, human baby!
For both, the blog and the baby, I had been feeling the urge, the creative energy from within me. Around both, the blog and the baby, I had fear and hesitation.
Isn’t it too much, how am I going to do that, what if … ?!
I Felt the Call to Put Myself Out There
This blog was the first time I allowed myself to be vulnerable, the first time I dared to reveal myself. To come clear about my successes, my failures, my doubts, my thoughts, my fears, and my inner workings. Like Shonda Rhimes, creator, and producer of award-winning TV shows, describes it in her beautiful memoir Year of Yes: How to Dance it Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person:
Writing about myself feels a lot like I’ve just decided to stand up on a table in a very proper restaurant, raise my dress and show everyone I’m not wearing panties.
That is to say, it feels shocking.
This is exactly how it felt – shocking.
And the baby – how does one make such a big decision? A decision for life?! There are people who dream of getting married, having children. I am not one of them.
Motherhood – it felt like a harness to my freedom, a break of my momentum, a black hole of my energy.
I intensely feared femininity, creativity, and motherhood. It meant vulnerability, it meant allowing the unknown, letting my guards down, facing my biggest fears, betting my physical, mental and emotional health on one card. I liked my life the way it was – I had reached a comfortable state, I was going places.
Yet – there was a deep desire – the creative energy bubbling to come out. Of course, back then I didn’t have the awareness to recognize the nagging, unfulfilled feeling as what it was – suppressed creative energy wanting to be let out.
I Took the Call to Adventure
There were layers and layers to cast away, layers of my subconscious to make conscious, it was like an attic full of stuff – dark, dusty, boxed stuff.
It was heavy. It stopped me from going places. It anchored me in a bad way.
I worked with 3 different consciousness coaches in the span of 4 years to get the boxes out one by one, open them, decide what to do with the boxed content.
… and I Created the LOFT of My Dreams
I eventually transform the dark, dusty attic into a beautiful, cozy space with soft light coming out of the side windows, a creative area to write, draw, meditate, an active area with a yoga mat to stretch and to jump, and a fluffy, cozy corner where I can cuddle in soft, blankets supported by comfy pillows.
There are plants in my attic, there’s a vitality, and light, and darkness, and color, and harmony. I’ve got a music system there to turn some tunes on when I want. I have a basket of nutritious fruit, water, and most of all – SPACE.
Space to jump, to dance, to create, to heal, to stretch, to rest.
It smells of books and freshly baked bread. Of coffee and wild flowers.
It’s quiet, unless I want to turn the volume up.
It’s safe. It’s mine.
Allow me to be the Marie Kondo of your Dark, Inner Attic
There are still some boxes, yes. There’ll always be. They are manageable now, they’re sitting quietly in the corner, not taking much space.
Have I not gone into the discomfort of tidying up, I would still have had this beautiful, creative space full of dusty, heavy boxes. I would still walk around not daring to speak up, to show up, to put myself out there. Cos’ you know – I never know what might creep out of one of those heavy, dark boxes.
Now that I have that space, I am part of the ripple effect. I am training to be a consciousness coach myself. I come into your life and coach you to declutter your mental/emotional space and open yourself for beauty, magic, and creativity. I am the Marie Kondo of your dark, inner attic.
A long story short – I am training to become a consciousness coach, and I am open to coach people who feel the urge to remove layers, to free up space, and to create lightness and playfulness in their lives.
Will YOU Accept the Call to Adventure?
If you were nodding your head in agreement, and a voice inside of you screamed:
Yes, I want Space!
Yes, I want more beauty, magic, and creativity in my life!
then send me a message with just 3 words: “I Want Space!”. I will take it from there, give you a trial session so you can get the feel of it.
