12 intense days of Coach Training. Countless peer coaching hours. Insight after insight. Layer after layer shed.
I see myself in the peers I coach. I recognize myself in their struggles, insights, and victories. One coaching session in particular stands out.
The Comfort Zone
A peer sets a session goal to gain 80% awareness about what holds him back to push through his Comfort zone. He is now at 30%.
He shares he gets caught up in achieving the result, getting the reward, meeting the external expectations. In pursuit of the reward, he goes to 80%. He receives confirmation from the people around him (family, colleagues, etc.). Then he settles.
He gets his reward at reaching 80% of his potential. Now, this place he has arrived at – the Base camp, it feels comfy but unfulfilling. He doesn’t feel the energy to stretch, to continue to the next Base camp, and this way, all the way to the top. To his 100%. This pattern shows up in his work, in his fitness level, in many areas of his life.
During the coaching session, he reaches the realization that he’s been working hard to get the approval of his parents. So it happens that 80% achievement was enough. He could lay back and enjoy it for a while. He didn’t feel the pull to stretch to 100%, to go beyond his Comfort zone, to challenge himself. To go where there’s no specific result and reward to be won, where no expectations are waiting to be met.
At this moment, I can feel a lightbulb goes on for him. After this powerful realization, he makes an even more powerful decision:
What I say goes!
He chooses to be proud of himself. To find what gets him excited, to be his own authority in life. He decides to push past the 80% consistently. He decides to head out to his 100% and beyond.
This touched me profoundly. I recognized myself. I am an 80% girl. I pushed through to reach the goals that pleased my parents, my bosses, my partner.
I got the reward. The applause. The recognition. I got comfortable with my achievements. It was enough. Until it wasn’t enough.
It was the beginning of my 30s had reached most of my goals. However, I felt a longing, a dissatisfaction. There’s more. There’s a whole other side of life. Beyond the Comfort zone. A few dare to go there. My parents definitely wouldn’t have applauded me for embarking on that journey. My bosses wouldn’t have liked the unpredictability of me shaking the boat, the trouble I would have created if I explored what was beyond my current role and asked for more.
Screw it, just do it
This realization helped me see clearly my path in the past couple of years. Unknowingly I have embarked on the journey beyond my Comfort zone. First, it was the Financial Independence goal. Then, the “create a life I don’t need a vacation from” goal. The 100% life. My 100%. The “What I say goes” life.
That’s exciting – a whole new exploration that tingles my curiosity and fuels me with a whole different kind of energy. The energy that converts the impossible to possible.
Back to you
How far are you allowing yourself to go? Where do you put the flag and declare “that’s enough”? Where would you go if it could all go your way?
The story I’m sharing has been green-lighted by my peer to share. Some details are changed to keep the peer anonymous.